Over Thinking...

You know what I think?I think that what I'm thinking is never going to be a big deal to anyone.My thoughts are nothing but floating words strung together with no purpose and no end in sight.Insignificant lifeless sentences carved from nothingness and staying that way.It's getting so difficult to get my view across sometimes because some people never listens or are pretending to.

There are so many things I don't understand and I can't find answers from anyone.There are so many things I don't understand about people because to me they don't make sense.There are so many things spinning in my head and I don't understand why they bother me so much when they're not affecting me directly.

I've always said that if I had a superpower,I'd want to read minds.It's not because I want to dig into their innermost secrets although it might appeal to me somewhat.And it's not because I want to be a psychic and show it off.It's not so I am able to infiltrate and manipulate their minds though that sounds like a fun thing to do,sometimes.It's so I can understand them.Knowing what they're thinking will help me to understand why they do what they do.There is only so much inference can do and understanding is not one of them.Sure it'll be nice to tell someones bluff but to me,understanding people's thought process intrigues me.It's easy to categorise someone according to their common characteristics like how the psychology and consumer behaviour modules teach me in school but I want to go into something deeper than that.

I want to know what they're feeling when something happens or when someone said something.What their thought process is like.What they were reminded of.What sparked certain feelings and the whole story behind them.It's more like knowing someone inside out rather than just their spending pattern or how they perceive the world.

I say,why leave after you've only scratched the surface?I believe there's so much more you can learn from understanding someone inside out rather than knowing 100 people barely.I know it may sound a little bit disturbing and to some extent perverting as I want to intrude into people's lives but yeah,that's just me and my fascination with superpowers.

And with great powers come great responsibility.I would want to be able to control my superpower so as not to just randomly read some random fellas mind or like hearing a billion over thoughts at one go whispering loudly in my peanut size brain.

But before all this imagination of reading people's minds and understanding people,I have yet to start on my homework which is to understand myself.I still wonder sometimes as to why I do the things that I do or say the things that I say.Or even,feel the way that I feel.I can't even explain them with or without words.I can only come up with half-baked solutions,half-hanging conclusions which is yet to be resolved because of my uncertainty and doubts of it's correctness.I stand corrected when I say that I am a complex being despite my predictability and peanut of a brain and I've yet to know myself fully to be able to function myself effectively.Or manipulate myself to my fullest potential.Then again,I may just be over thinking...


I was thinking
Over thinking
Cause there's just too many scenarios
To analyze
Look in my eyes
Cause you're my dream please come true

I was thinking
Over thinking
About exactly how I'm not exactly him
I'll break my heart in two
More times than you could ever do
Cause you're my dream please come true

Cause I think way too much
On a one track mind
And you're so out of touch
Cause I'm so far behind

I can't deny this anymore
The facts ignored all done before
And if there's one in this world
You let me know you're not that girl

I was sinking
Lower, sinking
Cause I lost the things I held on to
They let me think a thought
A thought that I would know was not
Of seeing my dream come true

I was thinking
Over thinking
About how far I had let this go
One more guy/girl cliche
I know now you're just in the way
Of me and my dream come true

Cause I think way too much
On a one track mind
And you're so out of touch
Cause I'm so far behind
I'm trying to make sense
Out of all of this
While your fading scent
Just slips through my grip

I can't deny this anymore
The facts ignored all done before
And if there's one in this world
You let me know you're not that girl

Don't touch the positive with the negative end
Don't touch the positive with the negative end
Cause after all of the sparks you're still alone in the dark
Cause after all of the sparks you're left alone in the dark

And while I'm able, I think I'll label
Experience with you as a mistake
And while I'm at it, I'll say I've had it
Experience with you is a mistake

Cause I think way too much
On a one track mind
And you're so out of touch
Cause I'm so far behind
I'm trying to make sense
Out of all of this
While your fading scent
Just slips through my grip

I was thinking
Over thinking
Cause there's just too many scenarios
To think about
To figure out
If you're my dream please come true


Over Thinking by Relient K.

Weightless...

And this is one of those times when the emptiness inside me just sinks in and swallow me whole as I am transported through time and space.This whirlpool of darkness.A black hole.As I warp through time,I look back on everything that looked so tangible,so full of life.Everything that meant so much to me then.Everything I'd give up to get those moments back.Everything I am just to be who I was.Or maybe not.

I'm on the verge of something beautiful.Why waste it?I'd give everything except my current identity.For simple reasons,I am who I am because of who I was.

But I can't help but falter at times with thoughts running wild.With memories on constant replay and I relive each moment frame by frame,in super slow-mo.Though it can be painful to watch,I felt a certain amount of solace through these occasional mental time travel.There is only so much a closure can do,forgetting is not one of those.

They say that if your mind is constantly reminded of a particular incident,it means that you've not gotten over it.Have I not?Really?It disguised itself so perfectly that I'm uncertain.And doubts linger in your mind at all time.


I want to feel weightless because that would be enough,for now...


Manage me I'm a mess
Turn a page, I'm a book half unread

I wanna be laughed at
Laughed with, just because

I wanna feel weightless
And that should be enough

Well I'm stuck in this effing rut
Waiting on a second hand pick me up
And I'm over, getting older

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

Make believe that I impress
That every word by design turns a head

I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because

I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
I'm over, getting old

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here

This could be all that I've waited for
(Waited, I've waited for)
And this could be everything
I don't wanna dream anymore

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonnna be my year
And I've been going crazy
I'm stuck in here

Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
(It's gonna be my year)
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere
(Go nowhere)
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear
(Everything I fear)
Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here


Weightless by All Time Low.

If Today Was Your Last Day...

Now that I'm supposedly more free with life,I shall try to payback the amount of time lost during the busy period though I doubt noone cares anyway about whatever I write here.It's been weird of late,there are so many things going on that I barely have a chance to stop and look at what's happening around me.If there's a period of my life when I can say that I have a life,this is truly it.Been going out,spending time doing whatever that needs to be done,rushing for things and praying for the time to slow down a little.Actually,it's been like that ever since the holidays and unlike all my previous holidays,this was the only in which I don't think I had enough rest.There's always something to keep me occupied,gone are the days when I wake up in the late afternoon thinking of where to go and spending the next few hours just deciding before not coming up with anything and choosing to stay home in the end to lead my normal loser of a life.I still am pretty much a loser,just that I get out of the house more frequently now to try and acquire some kind of life.At least I've got long bus rides home to help keep my thoughts in check.

I've been noticing a big change in lifestyle ever since year 2 started.This applies to both my life in school and out of school matters.Sure I was never really close to my classmates in year 1 but it's just drifting even more now and everyone's merry in their own little groups.I'm not complaining since I still do have company during breaks and all,just that my perceptions of some really flipped.For the better or worse,it's for you to decide.Outside of school,the priority being SavingSomeone,everything flipped too.Our dynamics have changed,our approach has changed and so does our image.Sure there is no denying change is bound to take place,it's just that I haven't had the chance to acknowledge all the changes around me.I still wished somethings didn't have to change because it's affecting me so much,directly or indirectly.

Life's been going at the speed of light and I simply took some things for granted,especially those things I wish didn't have to change.Now I encounter yet another scenario,a different and definitely a life-changing one.It's indeed a matter of life and death,and no,I'm not referring to Miachel Jackson though it's still a tragic story.He has no relation to me and since I wouldn't inherit anything,I wouldn't consider his death as life-changing for me.Perhaps the sinful thing for me to do is to take life for granted,I've not been spending enough time with some very important people in my life and it's such a pity really.Noone's dying by the way,or rather,everyone's dying since the clock never stops ticking.Just like how you talk to everyone and noone on Twitter and your Facebook statuses.Before you disregard this as another one of those emo posts,I shall just conclude it off with 3 simple words,life is fragile.Ignorance is bliss though temporary.What you don't know,you don't think of and so you wouldn't have to worry.

Anyway,back to my boring old not so deep self.I've been following a little bit of the H1N1 in Singapore and the last time I checked,it reached the 4 digit mark.Should it be a cause of concern?Probably.This pandemic has been going on for far too long that I just wish it would stop sometime soon though it's not likely,instead it's spreading even faster.I'm just bummed that I won't get to play the gig at TKGS next week as planned.Yes,you read it right,Tanjong Katong Girls School.Thanks H1N1,you've successfully delayed the fulfilment of one of my dreams.Talking about gigs,I must shamelessly promote about our upcoming show at Takashimaya on 19th July at 8pm.Shan't go too much into the details just yet and also,our EP launch at *Scape on August 15th.That will by far be the biggest event of my life,I've gone through so much just to make sure this event goes on as smooth as possible and sacrificed so much into the makings of this.Ah well,I shall try and update more interesting happenings in the future.Until then.


If today was your last day...


My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
(What if, what if)

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
(What if, what if)
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
If today was your last day
(What if, what if)
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
(What if, what if)

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
(What if, what if)
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
(What if, what if)

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
(What if, what if)
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love
(That you'd finally fall in love)
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark
By mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late
To shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind
A moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
Cause the hands of time
Are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
(What if, what if)

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
(What if, what if)
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love
(What if, what if)
If today was your last day


If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback.