Some come and go,others stayed around longer because of their love-hate relationship, something which I can never understand.I can't see how someone can love somebody so much that they will hang on to the person despite all the pain he/she had to go through.Abused, physically or mentally.
A friend told me that it's the love that keeps the couple together.
And he's not wrong to say that but if you were the one listening to all the complaints of one party about their supposed lover,I can't help but doubt.Because I only hear one side of the story,incidents tend to be put across with a biased view.And sometimes people don't actually mean what they say.I for one,mistook the signals of appreciation for something that is more.Who can blame me?Love works in mysterious ways and it could be one of many.Sympathy became hopes and dreams.The victim on the other decided to play along and created this world of possibilities with me and her in mind.What's wrong with that?It was just a thought.Wild imagination that led to nothing.
And it stayed that way for days,weeks,months,years.I know things were never going to work out in the end because she can't stray away.Voluntarily or involuntarily,she's stuck with her lover.
Stupid.Foolish.Naive.
Those were some of the words thrown in to describe the ordeal that I was a part of.I'm not proud of it,but I know it was hard to swallow.It took me a while before I realised how used I felt because it seemed as if I was a pawn in her game of chess.Her methods of self-pity is an easy way to get my attention and care.Somewhere along the line,I thought that I felt something for her.I probably still think that I do right now but now there's a part of me that says "there she goes again,playing her cards right into your heart".She blamed it on temptations.I blamed it on naivety.I guess some people like the attention they get and the feeling of being loved by many.
Matters of the hearts can never be that simple,if it is,cracks will never have formed in the first place.We were both the faults of our own problems as much we don't want to admit it.We played our parts well and we should end it that way.Nothing more,nothing less.Rumours started cropping and soon enough,I became the villain.I was labelled the 'couple breaker' and guys hated me for being best of friends with their girlfriends.They were insecure of my very presence and I can understand why.They weren't so much scared of me,they were more scared of their relationships turning awry.I was to some extent,the remedy to relationship problems for the girls and the root of relationship problems for the boys.
I hated that.I hated myself for making that mistake.Twice.The mistake which inevitably became my reputation.I felt miserable.One by one,my best friends disappeared into oblivion.I blamed it on their boyfriends for taking them away from me.But,what can I do?To prevent further complications,I decided not to contact them myself in case their boyfriends found out and that only means more trouble.
Matured.Wisened.
5 years on,it's safe to say that things haven't changed much in this town.I've grown used to it and it didn't matter to me anymore what people are saying about me.
Ignorance.Accustomed.Thick-skinned.
I still lead my quiet life.From time to time,I receive phone calls at odd hours from my long lost friends,just 'checking in' on me.This time around,I tried to not give myself away cheaply.They mistake me for being cold and no longer the friend that I was then.I was no longer her getaway from all misery.My excuse?Love and lost.Sure,I still am the listening ear to them but it's all professional.Nothing more,nothing less.
College was the best years of my life.I wasn't part of the popular kids but I certainly wasn't the most hated either.At least for most parts of it.I had very few friends.Few but important.They were the ones that kept me going.But whoever she is,whoever she may be;one thing is for sure,I don't have to worry...
(See disclaimer at bottom of post,thanks.)
I thought I had my girl but she ran away
My car got stolen and I'm gonna be late
For work this week, make that the fourth day straight
But I'm fine with it
(You don't have to worry)
I thought I had it all but I gave it away
I quit that old job now I'm doing okay
Those material things they can't get in my way
Cause I'm over it
But whatever she may be
She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends or just strangers in bars
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One thing's for sure, you don't have to worry
(You don't have to worry)
And this is the part where you find out who you are
And these are your friends, those who've been there from the start
So to hell with the bad news, dirt on your new shoes
It rained all of May til the month of June
But wherever she may be
She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
Your best friends or just strangers in bars
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One thing's for sure, you don't have to worry
And every day, in every way oh, she will look the same
And every care you used to have just seems to float away
And every day, in every way oh, she will look the same
And every care you used to have just seems to float away
To hell with your new shit
And whether or not you think you fit in
She could be money, cars, fear of the dark
(Fear of the dark)
Your best friends or just strangers in bars
(Strangers in bars)
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One thing's for sure
She could be rainy days, minimum wage
A book that ends with no last page
Whoever she is, whoever she may be
One thing's for sure, you don't have to worry...
Whoever She Is by The Maine.
Adapted from The Deepest and Darkest Secrets of Alex Fred's Mind.
Names, character, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
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