No Tomorrow...

Today is officially the first day I have the house to myself,well almost if not for my brother.So my parents arrived in Singapore yesterday right before I left for catechism class,their flight transit here before jetting to Frankfurt later at night and from Frankfurt to New York,it's so tedious.And I just received a message from them saying that it's 10 am there and they just reached.Around 12 hours difference,considering it's 2227 on my clock now.

So anyway,during class I had the shock of my life when I was handpicked to say a testimonial during confirmation.Of course,I wasn't the only one but what surprised me more was that it was not Peter who picked me.It was Jason.Peter told me that Jason read my letter to the archbishop,I thought they said it's personal,and made the decision.I was kind of neutral to the idea but I know I'll be shivering when I get so close to the altar in front of the whole congregation.It must be really nerve wrecking,I don't know how Peter could handle them while doing the readings during mass.Anyway,I'll be sending in a copy of what I'm going to say by Sunday so yeah,I'll make time for it.And I'll just see how it goes.

And then I'm off to the airport to have dinner with my family for the last time.Decided on Fish & Co partly because I wanted to catch Manchester United's match rather desperately and the fact that my parents has got 10% discount for transitting there.See,I killed two birds with one stone.And I was feeling all crappy because ManUtd was losing 2-0 when miracle strikes right after Kathleen said that what could happen against Milan could happen again and I was like,yeah right.ManUtd couldn't take the chances that come their way and I thought,crap they're level on points with Chelsea now.

But I guess I spoke too soon.Kathleen was right about ManUtd,for once.For those who doesn't know Kathleen,she's actually an anit-ManUtd and her whole family is.So it was weird that she actually managed to tell me about ManUtd and rightly so.One goal after another in quick concession.Even the boy Eagles scored,I know him through Football Manager and hey,I've been cursing Ferguson to let him play since the start of this season.I always knew the lad has got some potential so yeah,that just put him among the scorers for ManUtd's season.

My dad got himself a new phone,like finally.He's been using old phones since God knows when.It's a Nokia E65 which is more business related I guess.It looks like one at least.So he set over some pictures he took at Bali's Hard Rock Cafe.




































































































































































































































































































































On the cab,totally random shot.

















Fish & Co.

















At Fish & Co.Their honeymoon to New York,or so I assumed.






















Me on the bus back home.






















Watch where you're pointing to,I kind of like this picture.

















So random vandals on my table.






















See,I told you I am a big fan of Good Charlotte.





















If you spot this on a table,you know that table is mine.


















Even June got in the act during Mother Tongue lessons.And I replied.


Anyway,I went back and got in the jovial mood.Spend the night practically having fun talking to Kathleen and Peter in Msn.Some privately and the better one was when we talked together.It was rather riotic,chaotic and ah,you get the point.But it was fun.Probably one of the most fun conversation I had on Msn.We had a blast,or at least I did making fools out of ourselves.We're like making fun of each other and all that.And up to this point,I still don't know what a cutenim is.What have I been missing?So yeah,it went about for almost 3 hours because Pete was having his 1 am brain malfunction but Kath and I stayed until 2 though she's got class the next morning.So yeah,thanks you two for making my day,or should I say night.And yeah,I promised not to mention anything that we talked about because it will embarrass all of us in a way or another.We'll keep whatever's said there to ourselves.You two rocks!

Did the routine today like every other Sundays.Had tuition and all that.Did my freakishly long history homework which I swear took forever.Then I'm off to Parkway to get dinner and takeaway for my brother since he's such a bum and he doesn't want to save the trouble of me bringing him some food.But it's alright since I rewarded myself with Orson's Bright Idea.





It's a good buy considering I was in a tight budget,I got this at Mph for 15.90 when it cost 18.90 in Gramophone.I was like thinking of which cds to get because everything seems to be a good buy but this one cost a little less so I decided to get this.And also because Lifehouse is sold out.But boy,I wasn't disappointed one bit.The song of the album has got to be No Tomorrow.It's so catchy and the lyrics are killers.To think someone actually told me Orson is a crappy band,this has definitely changed my opinion of just being one hit wonders(referring to their single,Happiness).


This song made me think again.Of the good times we had,but also of the future ahead of me and my future you.When I'm dancing with you,tomorrow doesn't matter.Turn that music up,til the glass starts to shatter.Cause you're the only who can get me on my feet.And I can't even dance.It just takes every word from my mouth.When we're together,there's no tomorrow.When we're together,there's no one in the world.But you and me,just you and me.Oh you and me...


Let's go to a rave
And behave like we're tripping
Simply cause we're so in love
Funny hats, shiny pants
All we need for some romance
Go get dolled-up
And I'll pick you up(up up up up)

There's no line for you and me
Cause tonight we're V.I.P
I know somebody at the door

I see that twinkle in your eye
You shake that ass and I just die
Let's check our coats and move out to the floor

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter
Turn that music up
Till the windows start to shatter
Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet
And I can't even dance

Just look at me, silly me
I'm as happy as can be
I got a girl who thinks I rock
And tomorrow there's no school
So lets go drink some more Red Bull
And not get home till about six o' clock

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter
Turn that music up
Till the windows start to shatter
Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet
And I can't even dance

Everybody here is staring
At the outfit that you're wearing
Love it when they check you out
Cover's only twenty bucks
And even if the DJ sucks
It's time to turn this mutha out

When we're together
When we're together
There's no tomorrow
There's no tomorrow
When we're together
There's no one in the world
But you and me
Just you and me
Oh you and me...



No Tomorrow by Orson.

Give Until There's Nothing Left...

Ok,I'm going to break my promise of not blogging until the mid year is over.Let's continue where I left off.Last wednesday was the day where Kathleen got all emo,due to Syf.I can understand how she felt,I can basically feel what she felt throughout the whole journey.And I tried to cheer her up,but it's never easy when you know that they just experience certain things.I did manage to chat her up on Thursday night on Msn and by then,she was ready to tell me what happened during and after the Syf.Managed to make her feel better that day,I think.Well,sometimes what we get in return isn't as good as what we give away.

Friday was EPL day and I can't quite remember anything that happened to me that day.It's all foggy,other than the composition test we did that day.I became a nerd after that,studying when I got home after EPL.Then,uhh...I can't remember.I think I slept early that day.

Saturday was quite a long day.I had catechism class,sadly our second last week before confirmation preparations and all.We had affirmations for two weeks and I got some,6 to be exact.Thanks to Sophia,Joshua,Nicholas,Brian,Carisia and one more person whose signature I can't figure out.It looks like the first letter is an F and it's written on fulscap paper so if I'm not wrong Felicia should be the other one.Kathleen forgot to put her affirmation to me last week,but that's alright.Then went to parkway to get supplies and Bloc Party's Silent Alarm.I must say that Bloc Party is the band that has the most different sounds from any I've heard before,they're pretty decent for a band especially their really really meaningless lyrics.That's what I thought when I first hear their songs but after reading them closely and I uncovered a lot of hidden meanings that's reall in depth.

Sunday was an overjoy.I decided to come to church,not for mass or class.I simply went there to pass somethings to Kathleen.I can assure you that I've been victims of giving things either at the wrong time or worse still,things that's really of poor taste.I always have this problem in me,so once again I tried to push my luck by a mile and hopefully,turn my luck around.And true enough,it did.I was happy that I could make someone feeling so down that week get a surprise of the week and make her smile,at least I assumed she did judging from the messages.She also gave me my overdued affirmation in my own envelope.I was smiling from ear to ear when I was reading her affirmation.Her handwriting is so neat and it was brightly decorated that I felt like as though mine should actually be better off in the dustbin.

But I have to confess that my heart couldn't stop beating faster and faster the moment she came down.I was actually sitting below the class until the very last minute when I decided it looks safer to be near the elevator where there isn't as much people.I was feeling both nervous and happy at the same time because it's actually our first time talking face to face in a month.And it's counted as our first real conversation.And I know I kind of screwed the whole conversation by speaking too fast and soft,as if I'm mumbling to myself.I'll have to regain my composure by the next time I see her again which is quite soon,I think.

On Monday we had mid year for paper one for both English and Mother Tongue.I think I did alright for the composition, the topic I picked was something like "Who is the person living or dead whom you admire the most?How did you admiration to him/her affect your goals?" Right there and then,I knew I had plenty of candidates.From Peter to my dad to even Mother Theresa.But I wasn't willing to risk getting low marks and I picked the person whose biography I remembered by heart,not in details but the main events.He's none other than Cristiano Ronaldo.I know I could ace the vocabulary section of the composition since my football dictionary is shall I say,two thumbs up.Noone deserve that spot than him,at that particular moment of course.I think I screwed up the report part.And for the Mother Tongue paper,I actually finished it with an hour to spare which is what the hell?I have two hours yet I actually did both my dialogue and my composition in under an hour.I think I'm going to be in deep trouble.

Tuesday was Social Studies,it was alright.I managed to finish it with a minute or two to spare to get my breathing circulation back to normal.Usually I'll sprint through,especially the last few mintues because I couldn't finish it in time.It either means that my writing is getting faster or,I'm writing plain rubbish.Guess we'll have to wait for results to come out.Wednesday was EPL day again.Played soccer in school and I played decent enough.Played in the same team with Eezzat after a long while and we still got it.Since the secondary one days,we clicked whenever we played like as though we're meant to be in the same team.I managed to be the playmaker again while he bangs in the goals,most of them beautifully of course,after some delicate passes courtesy of me.

Thursday was such a cold day that I swear I won't mind a blanket over me that day.The rain didn't stop for the whole day I was in school but it stopped after that.Went to Jeremy's house for a quick fix of his guitar and a little jamming session before we went to Damai to play even more football,though my blister is killing me.I was fuming that day because I was in a team whereby a certain somebody thinks he's the world's best player and the star player when all he does is delay the team's movement.We actually played better without him and as soon as Shafiq and Anwar came over to join our team,we were winning games in minutes after it starts.I scored four goals in a row in two matches,2 goals per match is the rule.The next team takes over after the win.Scored two from the right at a really tight angle off the far post.Kind of glad that I was given a chance to prove my worth in a team of players who actually knows how to play.Having fun is one thing,but winning is another.

And I'm almost done in completing two pages worth of doodling song names in as much varieties as possible.I did two pages for the whole of last year and in four months,I'm almost 85% done with my 2nd page.Achievement of the day,deserving of an award.Today,I had history test on War in Europe.Think I did alright and hopefully,it will be enough to help pull my marks up before my mid year papers.And my mom jetted back to Indonesia today.She'll be back here tomorrow as she is transitting in Singapore before continuing to USA later in the day,or rather night.And she'll be gone for about 3 weeks or so.Which will mean,I will have the house to myself for almost a whole month with enough cash to buy a PS3.But that will be stupid because I won't have anything to eat when that happens.

Thanks Jeremy for Fall Out Boy's Infinity On High.I can't wait to get Saosin self-titled album and Relient K's Five Score And Seven Years Ago from Ryan and Daughtry from Jerome.There's so much good cds to be bought that I don't know where to begin.Maroon 5's new album is destined to hit the stores on 22nd of May.But I'm aiming for Lost Prophet's Start Something and Lifehouse's self-titled album.And Bloc Party's A Weekend In The City.The Feeling's Twelve Stops And Home.Orson's Bright Idea.And I plan to check out Foo Fighters,Thrice and The Starting Line.I'm smelling something burning in my pocket already.

And I just remembered that my borther will be enlisted for national service next year so yea,there'll be one person less in the house for a long while.And I got both my class photo and badminton photo.Been wanting to finally see them at my own fingertips.Brings back some memories and all that walking down memory lane.And the class t-shirts and badminton cca shirt.Hopefully I can get it before I officially stepped down next term.

Sometimes we feel that life's making fun of us.We tried our very best to give everything we've got but the outcome isn't as wonderful as we would have thought it to be.It happened so many times to me that I can't be bothered to them and got quite used to them already.Imagine having been so close to getting something you always wanted you in your life and sacrificing everything you got to try and finally call it your own but the ending doesn't go your way.It sucks doesn't it?It's like as if all your efforts has gone down the drain in an insant and there's nothing you can do about it.Even when we give until there's nothing left I'll give...



No one told me
The right way
The right way to go about this
So I'll figure it out for myself
Cause how much
Is too much
To give you
Well I may never know
So I'll just give until there's nothing else

Yeah I'll give give give (until there's nothing else)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give

No one told me
How bad I need you (I need you)
But I somehow arrived
To that conclusion all by myself (all by myself)
And I want
All you have to offer (to offer)
So I offer myself
And I'll just give until there's nothing else

Yeah I'll give give give (until there's nothing else)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give give give (until there's nothing else)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left

Sometimes I see
Like all I ever do
Is ask for things
Until I ask too much of you
But that's not the way (that's not the way)
I wanna live (I wanna live)
I need to change (I need to change)
But something's got to give
Yeah something's got to

Give give give (until there's nothing left)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left to give
Give give give (until there's nothing left)
Give my life (until it all runs out)
Give give
Give until there's nothing left
I'll give...


Give Until There's Nothing Left by Relient K.

Feel The Silence...

Today will probably be the last post until mid year ends.I'm feeling pretty nervous about it,maybe because I don't want to get poor results but no use feeling nervous without any action being done.Didn't do much in class today other than doodling on my handbook that is.I'm on the second page of my doodle corner,the first page has been filled to the brim.

I can't wait for tomorrow because it's finally the end of the week.I'm feeling burnt out already and there's still catechism class for the next few weeks.We need to be in all-white for the Confirmation so I'll be spending a day or two looking for the white pants.Hopefully my mom will allow me to get a tie.I don't plan to wear the school tie but if I'm allowed to then I'll just wear my bro's.His is silvery-grey but it looks quite plain.I've been eyeing one from Topman,like again.Either the bright plain red one,the black or the white one with some eye catching images.I want to express my personality since the tie is the only dress code that's allowed to be different from other people's.

I wonder how Kathleen's doing for her Syf.Her last message sounds abrupt,as if something bad happened.I hope I'm just thinking too much.I'm sure they did ok,hopefully I'm right.Damn,I wish I could know first hand of the results but sadly I don't think I know anyone else who's from the same school as her.It's not fun having to wait for the breaking of news.Be patient Edwin,it'll come sooner or later anyways.

I would like to take this moment to clear any doubts that I've been treating people differently.Yes,people change and if at any time you feel like as if I ever ignore you,then it's up to you to think that way.I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of the cold shoulder and I still think,in fact,I know that I'm still getting ignored by some of these of people but I don't blame them.WHy would I even bother?It's not like as if they're the greatest being in the world.At times,I may seem like as if I'm ignoring you but I'm not.It's all in the timing.I'm not an arrogant fool like I know some of my schoolmates are.You can never ignore these people all your life right?Just because you feel the silence doesn't mean that I don't care...



You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry
All you remember now
Is what you feel

The truth remains
In midnight conversations
I asked for this moment
But you turned away

Sad like a lonely child
Broken the day you're born
I held the light to you
But I was so vain

And you remain
A promise unfulfilled
I ask you for more
But you push me away

And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Looking for something more to say

I don't know where I'm going
Only know where I been
And you move through my soul
Like a hurricane wind
We've been so lost for so long
I don't know how to get back again

And we're drowning in the water
That flows under this bridge
When you're fighting the current
You forget how to live
And I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled until today

And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
When it's gone what will you say

How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on
How do we hold on

You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry...


Feel The Silence by Goo Goo Dolls.

Hello Alone...

Woke up in the morning with no mood whatsoever to get up from my oh-so-comfortable mattress.From the moment I stoned right after the morning bath,I knew I was running late.I was just in no mood to go to school today and as I looked at the clock,it's almost 6:30 which is the usual time I leave the house.I wasn't even in uniform,in fact,my uniform is folded neatly at one corner.I went down to read the newspaper and once I finished reading,I take a second look at the clock,it's 6:20.I was stunned,could it be that the time just went backwards?That's really really weird so I thought what the heck,I rushed up to get changed and left the house soon after.

Found out from Kathleen that Elliot,yes Elliot from catechism class has a band called Grace The Occasion.Don't really know what the name means to them but hey,band names are getting more wicked by the second.I Youtubed it while waiting for Kathleen to send me some demo samples of their songs and all I can say is they're not that far away from us.As in,their music genre can still be equated to ours and they ain't half-baked cookies either.They look like they've had some experience from somewhere so I will try checking them out if possible,when O's end.

As I said before,my mom's coming back tomorrow night so I don't think I'll have access to the computer from Friday onwards and until the mid-year is over.Damn,but don't worry,I'll survive to see the mid-year days through.There ain't no way I'm going to let this blog rot and wither away just like that,this blog means a lot to me as far as I'm concerned.


People ask me "How can you do this alone?How can you do that alone?" I am a people person,but at the same time I can survive living on my own.Some people depends on friends too much and when something happened between them and things starts to get ugly,they blame each other for it.That's what I hate about friendship.Sometimes it's more comfortable being in your skin rather than being somebody you're not in the eyes of others.And there's really noone to care about,the attention is all you,you and you.Nothing else matters.Noone to slow you down,noone to distract you from what you're supposed to do,noone telling you wwhat you should be doing.Of course at times I feel bored but hey,it's not so bad.I've adapted to it really well ever since I tried.I've been doing solo window shopping,lunching among many other things.As long as I have my gadgets with me of course.Without music,I wouldn't even dream of lasting a day.

Here's wishing Kathleen all the best for her Syf tomorrow.You'll do fine,I know the nervous wreck has caught up to you and all but just let things come naturally.Don't try too hard and create all those tense moments.I have absolute faith in you.I will be rooting for you no matter what the result is.As Rooney says "Just go out there and do your own things" you should do the same.Cherish these moments because it doesn't come everyday and have fun.I'll be praying for you.

I'm by myself once again.Hello alone,I've been waiting for you...


Is this where the interstate ends?
In coastal towns like this
Waiting for my world to cave under
We seem to invent ourselves (we seem to invent ourselves)
In the places left unknown
If hope could only find me out

Is this the end of everything we know? (We know)
This is the end of everything I am

Is anybody out there?
Hello! Hello!
Broken hearts like promises are left for lesser knowns
Is anybody out there
Alone! Alone!
Cause the coldest winter's thrive

Depression is the unholy ghost
In the coastal towns of ahead
Though I know a thousand names
I see my only friend
I've got the gun
All I need is ten cents for the bullet
I feel helpless
Sleeping at best
Waiting for your return
Are you ever coming home?

Is anybody out there?
Hello! Hello!
Broken hearts like promises are left for lesser knowns
Is anybody out there?
Alone! Alone!
Cause the coldest winter's thrive on broken homes
Broken homes

Does anybody (Does anybody)
Do they ever listen? (Do they ever listen?)
Does anybody (Does anybody)
Care at all?
Do they care at all?
Do they care at all?
Do they care at all?
Do you care at all?
Do you care at all?

Is this the end of everything we know? (We know)
This is the end of everything I am

Is anybody out there?
Hello! Hello!
Broken hearts like promises are left for lesser knowns
Is anybody out there?
Alone! Alone!
Cause the coldest winter's thrive on broken homes

Is anybody out there?
Hello! Hello!
Broken hearts like promises are left for lesser knowns
Is anybody out there?
Alone! Alone!
From a lesser known I'm here
and there's hope...


Hello Alone by Anberlin.

Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?

Had a tiring day today.Should never have re-run 2.4 with an empty stomach.Didn't have breakfast today because I was running late.So I kind of rushed my way to school and there I was.Though I was feeling giddy halfway through,I was damn determined not to give up,at least not yet.So I sprinted right at the last round and I managed to overtake Leslie right at the death and I retained my number 1 tag,but my timing was actually worse 10:34.I was pissed but Mr Viknesh was having one of those days whereby he is shining like a star and being such a kind soul,he gave me my best 10:30 to let me get my A.I was overjoyed but I was more lethargic than happy.

Tried to report sick after recess but I wasn't allowed to because there's noone at home,which is like what the hell.I tried to explain that my parents are in Indonesia and my brother is in school but the teacher said I should ask Mr Chew.I did and I got the same response.So I got back to class and slept on the table for practically the rest of the day until assembly which was a total waste of time and I went home after Biology class after that.I skipped mother tongue and biology evening class and just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse,it started raining just when I was about to reach my house bus stop.So I reached home drenched but at least I got some warm Yoshinoya for lunch,yummy.

Slept for the rest of the day until around 8 and I checked to handphone.Two messages,one from Kathleen and one from Jeremy.I opened Jeremy's one first since it's probably the first time he actually messaged me and it goes "Good Charlotte is coming to Singapore" I totally freaked out,I mean,if Good Charlotte is coming then I will be the first to line up for their tickets.Turned out it was the Malaysia gig and Jeremy thought it was Singapore.Sucker.I nearly thought he was trying to "Punk'd" me,knowing how many times I easily fall for those cheap dirty tricks.

Then got back to my house chores,had to iron the shirts while my bro did the laundry.Oh yeah,I got Story Of The Year from Eugene.Was alright,except for some screaming songs.Damn,I didn't know the got influences from screamo.But I liked Sidewalks because firstly,there's not screaming which makes it crappy and there's also the feel that the music sounds more mature.I just don't quite understand why people like listening to screamo.That's just not music man,it's like it's a bunch of guys made up of a guitarists who barely got noticed,the bass is almost unheard,some really wicked drumming with random patterns (I happy then I whack the cymbals then the snare and etc) and to top it all up there's somebody screaming his lungs out just because he can't sing.But at least Story Of The Year has some real music and not just lung busting which causes ear bursting.

Good news,my mom is coming back here on thursday.Whoopee!Joy to the world,I'll have no more problems with food,I'm really starting to be sick of eating out.And somehow,I kind of felt really weird without someone nagging me to grab a book.It's like as if I missed getting scolded and someone breathing down my neck just so I can get my butts off the bed every morning.No more laundry,no more ironing and certainly no more life.That's the downside,no more late night,no more partying at home.Oh well,I'll save all that until after my O's.

My friends and I have been having fun talking craps the past week or so during recess,after school and practically every other time we meet.Yong Siang acts as Rio Ferdinand,Asyraf as Evra and Hakim as Kieran Richardson.Not forgetting me as Van Der Sar.It was especially hilarious when Manchester United lost to portsmouth because we're basically blaming each other.I told Yong Siang off for passing the ball back when I got it covered and he does the same.I got scolded for punching the ball after those long shots then I started scolding Hakim for chesting the ball anyhow which led to the Mwauwari shot which then led to Matthew Taylor's goal.We are such good actors that we actually convinced ourselves that we were the real deal.I'm so going to continue this everyday,it's always the hot topic.

We even made fun of the terms emo to descibe some people.I think I shouldn't mention some since it's a bit too insulting,not only to the person but to some others as well.We started out with 'Emo shit' to describe those who look well,emo.I got the stick sometimes especially from Eezzat the "don't-make-me-Jab-your-Bar".Then we started spreading it to describe people like Helmi the R-less guy.We call him 'Emo/Gay' since he's well,a little too much on the gentle side.There was once when Lovell looked damn sad and Ryan and I came up with 'Emo/Cheena' and many many more.I'm really sorry if this insulted any readers because most of this is insode jokes so don't skin or roast me alive.And for those who don't catch anything on what this is about,don't bother to find out.

There was a slide presentation during English class by Mdm Rogayah.It was classic,the stunning backgrounds pictures of nature and quotable quotes.There was a couple which struck me like "Love is not two persons who look into each other's direction,it's when the two of them look at the same direction" or something like that,it's so true.The most important thing is to see have the same point of view and everything else will slowly but surely develop from there.You can't just force it out.

You know what they say on how to define success.It's when someone falls down a million times and he got up a million and one times.The never-say-die attitude is instilled into my flesh and blood.Never give up on someone though he or she has given up on you.Makes any sense top you?I just came up with this so yeah,thought it's decent enough.Sounding so Aristotle-like but I still think Kathleen's one is really down-to-earth and real easy to relate and understand.When Life gives you lemon,make lemonade.It's so simple that it's hard not to understand the words...


Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh

A penny for your thoughts but a dollar for your insides
Or a fortune for your disaster
I'm just a painter and I'm drawing a blank

We only want to sing you to sleep
In your bedroom speakers, whoa
We need umbrellas on the inside
Get me just right

They say quitters never win
But we walk the plank on a sinking ship
There's a world outside of my front door
That gets off on being down

Oh oh oh oh

I could learn to pity fools as I'm the worst of all
And I can't stop feeling sorry for myself
Whoa

We only want to sing you to sleep
In your bedroom speakers, whoa
We need umbrellas on the inside
Get us right

They say quitters never win
But we walk the plank on a sinking ship
There's a world outside of my front door
That gets off on being down
They say quitters never win
But we walk the plank on a sinking ship
There's a world outside of my front door
That gets off on being down

We only want to sing you to sleep
(In your bedroom speakers, whoa whoa)
We only want to sing you to sleep

They say quitters never win
But we walk the plank on a sinking ship
There's a world outside of my front door
That gets off on being down
They say quitters never win
But we walk the plank, and we walk the plank
There's a world outside of my front door
That gets off on being down

Broken down on memory lane
Alone together, we're alone (Woah)
We're broken down on memory lane
Alone together, we're alone

Oh oh oh oh...


Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? by Fall Out Boy.

Sunday Morning...

Headed for Marina Square today to get my hands on the jeans I reserved yesterday when I visited Parkway.Pathetic Parkway Parade Topman had a size too big for me,what a waste.Anyway went there to get my brunch at about 2 pm.I didn't eat anything since yesterday's dinner and tv mobile was being an ass by showing cooking shows.Makes me drool during the whole bus trip.Ate at Long John's as always and spent countless minutes trying to find the Topman there.It was like a maze to me since I haven't been there for quite some time.I can still remember the time when Seoul Garden was still there and my family ate there after every visit to Suntec.






















Whee.I feel so damn proud.Firstly,I used my own cash which I saved from scratch.Secondly,I actually bought a piece of clothing without my mom saying it's too big or too small and it's too expensive.People will say I'm being an emo-poser now but hey who cares?It's only a pair of black skinny jeans.I like black and I'm skinny.And it matches with any top.No one can deny that piece of fact.

Confirmation is more or less a month away and I have the sudden urge to not want to be confirmed.Not that I don't want to,just that I think that class is more fun nowadays.I'm feeling a little sense of regret for not bonding with this people earlier but I can do nothing now.There's really amazing people in class that I've never know of and in a month's time,I won't get to see them as a class again.Kind of saddening come to think of it.I'm not going to mention names in case I left someone out but I think you know who you people are.These few people made class more special to me.They welcomed me though they barely knew me and I guess it started with a little effort from me.But hell do they make a huge difference in my life.I won't forget you people,ever.And I'm not going to miss confirmation even if hell's door open up.That's going to be last time we can meet up as a class and I want to frame some pictures as memories.

Credit must go to the catechists and Peter especially.I'm biased when I say I can't thank him enough.He made me feel indebted about everything that I do now.If not for him,I wouldn't want to attend class or at some cases mass because I feel a sense of pride when he said the readings.I always go "Hey,I know him.It's Peter,my catechist and most importantly,my group leader." I feel proud just to be connected to him in one way or another.Maybe I sound like I'm exaggerating but I really think that Peter has instilled,rekindle and restore my faith as a Catholic.I know I've said this for more than a million times but I've never got bored of saying it,thanks so much Peter.You are truly the rock.

And yesterday,we had to write a letter to the archbishop.It's just a one way conversation on why we want to be confirmed and all that.I couldn't finish it in class but I managed to take some time off today to complete it.I was thinking of writing everything that happened to me but that's going to be a few pages long so I actually summarise the summary,imagine that.I practically just wrote the gyst of the story and I think the story doesn't sound convincing enough that I should be confirmed.I think I'm going to re-write it and put in more parts of the my journey through confirmation thus far.I think it's quite a story if I were to put it into a book because I was charmed into being the devil's advocate and I made a stand to reject him and here I am,feeling pretty holy.

Today has been great on me.I got my wish fulfilled today,that being my jeans.And my footnote to Kathleen is safely in her envelope.Thanks yet again Peter,for doing me that simple favor this morning.What a great Sunday this turned out to be,it brings back the joyful smile to my face...


Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning...


Sunday Morning by Maroon 5.

Change The World(Lost Ones)...

Today was a day where my mind was fogged up with issues after issues which I faced.I'm just trying to sort them out and make things clear.Just imagine filtering and deleting some of the memories behind,it's something like that.I'm just setting priorities for myself and what's good for me.I realised that the previous few weeks or so has been rough,real rough.Everything is going down the drain,everything I build up seemed to crumble down.Right now,I'm in a recovery period.I'm building up the foundations again and as some people say,the fragile period.One more fall and there goes everything.

I think this world is changing towards the worse.Just a few days back,I was talking about science to my brother.We were arguing,maybe not arguing but we were giving our opinions on science.Their positives and their negatives.One interesting issue came up,what if scientist discovered the cure for Aids.Would it mean that scientist has come up with a solution to one of the most deadly diseases to ever crop on this earth?

My stand is no.I choose to believe that the day when finding the cure comes,it would mean darker days ahead.Judging from the current society,we are more and more finding problems with new discoveries.Finding the cure to Aids will be placing our humanity into a frenzy.Firstly,people will have this idea that having multiple partners is ok since Aids can be treated just like many other diseases.That's when people will stop being faithful and just sleep around,just look at the number of cases whereby people are contracted with Stds.Once the cure for Aids is found,the numbers of those infected will be even higher than it is now,like as if it's not high enough.

True,there's cases whereby innocent victims contract this disease.Many in Africa are suffering now and I really pity these people.But if you were to think of the world as a whole,this discovery will mean the loss of the need for abstinence to most and people's mindset will be about letting their urge control their emotions and that's where it's wrong.People will treat sleeping around as a common everyday word and since the king of Std can be cured,so can everything else.That's the problem with people,they think only of themselves.Selfishness.

Our conscience that sleeping around is wrong will slowly diminish as the society is set to welcome the grand day of the discovery of the cure.I may seem sadistic to say that these people who get themselves infected should just suffer,rot and die a cruel death but I think these people deserve it.They should be playing around if they don't want to suffer an agonising death.If you play with fire,you'll get burned.That's basic common sense.If you want to toy with death then go ahead,I'm not stopping you.Noone can cheat death so good luck for you people who are so cheap to sleep around with people.You're halfway there in joining the rest of them in hell.

Science has revolutionised us for the better,I can't quite imagine myself watching black and white televisions or even whacking each other on the heads like cavemen do but science made this world full of grim too.If not for the discovery of nuclear,will there be fears of countries creating weapons of mass destruction?Will there be possessions of guns and rifle for the killings of endangered animals and innocent people if not for gunpowder?I'm not saying these things is wrong but these discoveries which is supposed to benefit mankind has become our worst enemies.So I can very well conclude that mankind is destroying the world and their own kind and you know where to point the finger to.Ourselves.Our curiosity to understand the world.And you know how the saying goes.Curiosity kills the cat.

Everyday we're creating a doomsday device that works like a time bomb.And sadly we don't even realise it.Global warming is catching up with us faster than the speed of light and we can't do anything to stop it.Scientists trying to play God.These people have the mentality of simplicity.This is a typical mindset of scientist "If I can help the world now,though it may harm the world in the future,it doesn't matter.Other scientists will find a way to solve the problem in the future anyway."

So is love.Many show their feelings to the other,only to realise that they're not the one for them.It's easy to say I love you but if you don't know what love really means,it's a waste of breath.Love is indescribable.Many have tried and failed,miserably.Lesson learned,love should never be used excessively.Yet 75% of the total number of songs written in the world to date is about love,ironically.If only we can change the world,we wouldn't be the lost ones...


If I could write one letter
To the world as we know it
I would list these rhymes
That mean everything to me
Heartache temporary
Bullets only stop your blood
Pain will live on and on
In everyone
In everyone

And we could change
We could change it down
We could change the world
We could strike the chord
We are the lost ones
We are the lost ones
We could re-write history
If only you and me
We are the lost ones
We are the lost ones
And we could change it down

The bottle holds no answers
His lips can only sway
Chemicals imbalance
Who needs them anyway
Desire is close at hand
Her lips can only sway
There's more to life than this
Don't give yourself away
Don't give yourself away

And we could change
We could change it down
We could change the world
We could strike the chord
We are the lost ones
We are the lost ones
We could re-write history
If only you and me
We are the lost ones
We are the lost ones
And we could change it down

Don't give yourself away
Don't give yourself away
Don't give yourself away

And we could change it down
We could change it down
We could change it
We could change the world
We could strike the chord
We are the lost ones
We are the lost ones
We could re-write history
If only you and me
We are the lost ones
We are the lost ones
We could change the world
If only you and me
We are the lost ones
We are the lost ones


Change the World(Lost Ones) by Anberlin.

Not Alone...

Today was alright,I think.Mr Chew didn't come again and the class almost got into another problem with Ms Rahma.Anyway,like I said,I didn't do anything much today.Planned to play soccer during badminton but it rained really bad.But I kind of realised that the rain is something that I should be thankful of because today might very well be the very last training and I can finally hang up my rackets.If not for badminton,I wouldn't be where I am today.Badminton has been a part of me since I was a kindergarten and it's only fair that I look back on whatever I've done and think of it as an achievement.

Gosh Pete,you're one of the last few people I would have thought to drop a comment in my blog.Not that I don't like it or anything.Thanks for dropping by and well,stating the obvious.Catch you around in class tomorrow.

Congrats to Eugene,yes the one and only Eugene for making scoring 36.5/40 for his English Oral which is really wow.Can't quite imagine the serious side of Eugene whereby he just talks about his goals and without any of his offensive,insulting and sarcastic words and jokes.No offence to you,Eugene.You're still a freaking cool guy,I mean it.But he has an advantage since he got Mdm Rogayah as his invigilator unlike my tough luck,Mrs Tan Ai Lin,our school's discipline mistress.I'm not saying she's a bad teacher,I just think that it'll be hard to impress her because her presence just kind of make you so fearful that you can have a fever you can't sweat out,as in literally.Anyway,you did good Eugene and like he always say jokingly "That's my boy."

I've been brought up in a way that I can be both a loner or a friendly person.That's just me,I can chnage my mood in an instant and it can be both good and bad.I think being independent is important because there's only so much friends and family can do but the most important component has to be youself.But being ultra negative towards those around you is not good either.Maybe I have overreacted in certain moments of my life.And I think that whatever I did is going to impact me in the future and true enough,my worst fears come.If I don't find it necessary,I won't need a company with me.I will find another way to keep myself distracted than to be stressed out about these things.

My house feels like a ghost house,there's practically noone to talk to and I think I've learned the hard way of taking those around you for granted.I'm basically just living out everyday as best as I can until my mom comes back and that's when I'll have real food plus no more house chores for me.No more ironing of uniform and all those,but I think these things kind of made me more aware that if I ever live alone,I will need to take care of these houseworks all by myself.


Life is getting harder day by day
And I don't know what to do, what to say
And my mind is growing weak
Every step I take
It's uncontrollable
Now they think I'm fake, yeah

Cause I'm not alone
No, no, no
But I'm not alone
No, no, no
I'm not alone

And I, I get on the train on my own
And my tired radio keeps playing tired songs
And I know that there's not long to go
Oh, and all I wanna do I just go home

But I'm not alone
No, no, no
But I'm not alone
No, no, no, no

People rip me for the clothes I wear
Every day just seems to be the same
They just swear
They just don't care
They just don't care
They just don't care
Cause I'm not alone

(Na na na na na na na)
No, no, no
But I'm not alone
(Na na na na na na na)
Na na na na na na na na na na na
(No, no)
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na

No, no
But I'm not alone
La la la la
Yeah, yeah
I'm not alone...


Not Alone by Mcfly.

Hundred...

Nothing much really happened today other than the morning madness.It started off fine and dandy until assembly where all of hell broke loose,literally.Mr Chew didn't come to school today and to our horror,Ms Rahma couldn't make ur day any worse by shouting and screaming so early in the morning.Over what you think?On a slight matter of just the seating arrengement during assembly.I mean,what the hell?Who gives such a big deal about this minor things anyway.She made it like as if we made a criminal sin which wiped out the entire humankind.

She even complained to Mdm Rogayah that we didn't have our books with us when she doesn't even allow us to take the books which we left under the table.I mean,what's up with that?Now you've made us look like devils in front of one of our favourite teachers.Can you please just be nice for once and explain why we need to sit in register number rather than yelling with those high-pitch voice which is so annoying.Either you seek treatment for over-depression or you can try going for anger management because you really made gigantic mountains over a tiny molehill.

My school band has retained their gold in this year's Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging.From a neighbouring school's point of view,it's good considering that so far only two schools had received gold with honours from what I heard from my friend.So congratulations to the band and that's all because of all the hard work which finally paid off.

I think I'm more or less satisfied with my decision,for now at least.Done and dusted are the days when I'm looking forward for a her in my life.Unless a miracle happens of course which is unlikely to happen.I rather be alone than to bring problems to anyone especially myself.I'm sick of this feeling,knew that this is coming sooner or later anyway.So to put this to a conclusion,I'm single but not available,for now.

My 100th post and this blog has reached over 1000 visitors,that averaged out to 10 readers per post.That's a good sign,hopefully it'll keep coming with as little hassle from the tagboard as possible,if you know what I mean.I've reached a hundred and counting.Long gone are the days when I'm feeling somewhere between unsure and a hundred...



The how I can't recall
But I'm staring at
What once was the wall
Separating east and west
Now they meet admidst
The broad daylight

So this is where you are
And this is where I am
Somewhere between unsure
And a hundred

It's hard I must confess
I'm banking on the rest to clear away
Cause we have spoken everything
Everything short of I love you

You're right where you are
From right where I am
Somewhere between unsure
And a hundred

And who's to say it's wrong
And who's to say that it's not right
Where we should be for now

So this is where you are
And this is where I am
So this is where you are
And this is where I've been
And this is where I've been
Somewhere between unsure
And a hundred...


Hundred by The Fray.

The Innocent...

I'm home alone again.My mom has gone back to Indonesia to apply for a visa because she's coming along with my dad to New York for his business trip.The one to Barcelona is replaced with this and though I won't be able to get the Barcelona jersey,I think I know a couple of things to buy while they're there.Though I'm stuck with my bro at home,it's still fun because I kind of have lesser things to hear especially those nagging from my mom.But I know that my mid-year is coming real soon and I got to work my socks off to get the results.For now my target is still L1R5 below 20,that's the priority.Since this month is the SYF peak period,I'm wishing everyone involved all the best and may you people reap what you sow.And

Manchester United made headlines again due to their 7-1 beating of AS Roma,I repeat Manchester United 7 AS Roma 1.It was one hell of a match and I'm really elated to see Alan Smith back in the side.Michael Carrick has been really underrated this season just because he doesn't seem to be doing anything productive for Manchester United until today,but I always knew he was a consistent player.Darren Fletcher,usually regarded as a fringe player,played his guts out in place of the suspended Scholes and it was easily one of his best performance in a red devils jersey.

I really pity Kathleen,she's really looking forward to her choir SYF on 19 April and now she's got really sick.The doctor gave her 5 days mc.Which means she will only be back in school on tuesday and she's got 2 days for her to redeem her voice which according to her isn't enough time.It's such a bad timing to get these viral infection and of all people her.I rather catch it since I've got nothing as important as this than she having to go through this during this SYF period.I guess she's a person I have weird but special connection with.

Not too long after I knew her,we sort of fell sick or having really bad days on alternate days so when she had a bad day,I try to console her and the next day is a bad day for me and she consoles me.It's really weird because she and I haven't really knew each other then.And we kind of experienced the same things in our lives,as in literally.Her family and mine seems to have a common aura around us.And yeah,our CCA experience mirrors each other's.Guess this creepy little connection could explain certain things and I hope she'll be alright by the end of this week.Get well soon girl,I'll be praying for you.

We actually wondered whether what we go through happens to many other teenagers our age but I guess it's down to us to help one another until another person who shares this bond comes around.I hope she won't go down along with me because of this when I get into a real mess.So why does the innocent always have to suffer...


The start of Armageddon
It was just another day
We all saw the news
Nothing to say

So many friends are missing
And family members gone
So we all pray that
God help them be strong

And now we stand together
Remembering that day
The lives we live
Will never be the same

And we don't know why
The innocent die
Will this world ever find a way to change
And we don't know why
But we know it's not right
We don't know why so many had to die
We don't know why so many had to die

Hate has turned to others
For their religion or their skin
But hate can't solve the problem it began
Everyone is angry
People are afraid
And no one knows what decisions will be made

And we don't know why
The innocent die
Will this world ever find a way to change
And we don't know why
But we know it's not right
We don't know why so many had to die
We don't know why so many had to die

And we don't know why (don't know why)
The innocent die (don't know why)
Will this world ever find a way to change
And we don't know why (don't know why)
But we know it's not right (don't know why)
Will any of us ever be the same
Will any of this ever be the same

And we don't know why
The innocent die
Will any of us ever be the same
Will any of this ever be the same...


The Innocent by Good Charlotte feat. Mest and Goldfinger.

Vienna...

Happy Easter people!Attended mass last night,was great and it's probably one of the longest mass ever but that's alright.It was quite fun in fact.Our class planned for an Easter Mass together this morning but I can't make it,my mother wouldn't let me cancel tuition so I have to glue myself to my seat.Well,at least tuition was productive and I actually learned better.Then went to cut my hair and now it's kinda weird because it's a little too short.Have to wait until it get longer again,damn.I have almost enough to get the pair of jeans at Topman,can't wait.

Life's been pretty much the same nowadays.It's stable for now,nothing much happening around me and I'm hoping it will stay like this for the meantime.I noticed that my blog has gone Gold,like finally.If not for my mistake of deleting the blog by accident,I would probably have more but well,it ain't too bad as well.I'm almost back to where I was back then,98 post to date and a few more will mean that I've overtaken my record last time out.


I'm glad that you got rid of all that happened.I'm glad that you're doing things the way you should.I'm glad you're doing well.I'm glad that you are happier now.I'm glad I knew you.I'm off to Vienna...


The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in
We smile for the casual closure capturing
There goes the downpour
There goes my fare thee well

There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
Cause I'm already gone

There's so many words that we can say
Spoken upon long-distance melody
This is my hello
This is my goodness

There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
Cause I'm already gone

Maybe in five or ten
Yours and mine will meet again
Straighten this whole thing out
Maybe then honesty
Need not be feared as a friend or an enemy
But this is the distance
And this is my gameface

There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
Is there really no way to reach me?
Am I already gone?
So this is your maverick
And this is Vienna...


Vienna by The Fray.

I'm Gonna Find Another You...

This week has been a rollercoaster ride.Nothing much happened on Monday so fast forward to Tuesday where we had our 2.4 run which I was unprepared for.I thought it was next week,the earliest but turned out to be this week for us so I had to run my socks off.In the end my timing was way better than last week,10 mins and 31 seconds.Considering that I was more than a mintue earlier than last week's timing,it was very good progress but I was kinda irritated that I was actually a second from getting an A.Just a mere second away from breaking my previous records.

Was feeling restless for the rest of the day because my legs are wobbly and all,feeling really weak and yet I played soccer after school so I nearly crawled home.Luckily I made it home alive and in one piece because I never felt more fatigued than this.Maybe because I kind of went over my ability in running five rounds in such a short period of time.Besides I didn't dream of coming close to the timing but the closer you are to getting the best,the more painful it hurts when you didn't achieve it.Simple logic.

I got Augustana's All The Stars And Boulevard and Panic! At The Disco's A fever You Can't Sweat Out from Jeremy.Augustana is hot,they're like almost in the same league as The Fray.Yes,they're that good but one thing I noticed is that they like to use state names in many of their songs,like as if it mattered anyway as long as it's good music,I couldn't care less about these minor details.Haven't listened to the whole Panic! At The Disco but so far so good.In return,I gave him my Good Charlotte's Good Morning Revival,all the songs of course not the cd.Not in a million years will I give that cd away.Got John Mayer's Trio's Try! Live In Concert from Eugene.Not too bad either.

Wednesday was badminton day whereby we planned to play EPL at the streetsoccer court during training.But in the end,I was held up by some stuff in the hall and thus,unable to 'train'.But I realised one thing,this is the transition period whereby the soon-to-be-retirees can't find their touch again and thus,we rather do something ese more productive.It's like as if all our powers are taken from us and one by one,those whom we can easily win over the last time seems to be beating us.I guess it's about time anway that we feel inferior towards the younger generations but it kind of shamed us a little bit to lose since we're supposed to be invincible,well that's what I thought.

Today was crappy as far as I can think of,was feeling all crappy and my head seem to be wandering around aimlessly during class.Every minute spent seems to be such a drag that I felt like calling it quits by recess time,but I soldiered on though I know that my body is in class while my soul is somewhere else.And they say out-of-body experience only happens when one is asleep,oh wait,maybe I was sleeping with my eyes awake.I was doing nothing productive the whole day and to put icing on the cake,during Poa which was the last two periods,I practically went into emo mode.

I don't know what the hell happened but I subconsciously feel all laggy and my mind just choked up for a bit.That explains the weird things I did,I doodled on a piece of paper before tearing them into bits and pieces.It's like as if something really major happened to me but there wasn't a single one which appears right in front of my face but somehow I just felt the whole world sinking in and my vision was nothing but a blind spot focusing on the paper I wrote really emo-istic stuff on.I don't have the evidence with me now or take a picture of it unless I manage to salvage the torn pieces in the rubbish bin next week which is very unlikely.

I am feeling so dejected yet contented.I can't quite explain it but it's the best description I can give about what I'm feeling.It's like as though something ripped my heart apart but it's bandaged over to keep it together until it's fully healed.Those hollow,empty feelings overtake everything else but yet I feel like as though there's nothing wrong with me and my life.I'm guessing it's my alter ego being overlooked by my falter emo.


There's nothing left to say,I guess.We're nothing more than just fragments of the memories we once tried pieced together,more like I did it alone and I failed of course.But I guess I was stupid enough to follow my guts though I've been warned by a good friends of yours not to even try,I should have listened to those who knew better.I don't regret what I did because through this,I gained plenty too.Well,though I've always wanted a different ending,its over and done with now.You're long gone and you ain't coming back so I'll just get on with life anyway.Don't worry about me,I'm fine and my response to this matter has been positive.Guess it's finally time to let go of whatever I tried to hold on to,for the benefit of the both of us.I hope I'm taking the right path this time becase I don't want to look back in regrets again.I got over this and now I'm gonna find another you...



It's really over
You made your stand
You got me crying
As was your plan
But when my loneliness is through
I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons
But you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another
I hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
Oh I'm gonna find another you


I'm Gonna Find Another You by John Mayer.

Something Else...

Nothing much happened today,my life seems so routined.Every weekend is the same old things happening.But I managed to visit parkway and I'm planning to get a pair of faded black jeans at Topman,going to save up.I've already got the black carbon acoustic guitar as my target,now I've got another one added to my neverending list.And I barely got a cent in my wallet,I smell a pocket burning soon.

Had another of those really productive talk with who else but Kathleen.I don't know how or why we can talk for a whole two weeks since I knew her without feeling bored whatsoever.We'll always fing something new to talk about everytime.I just knew that she was an anti-Manchester United which to me is a sin.She's got no mid year and even O levels and thanks to Dunman High,she doesn't need a to find a Jc.I'm so jealous.Both her parents are working and she said her mom seems to be getting more 'ka-ching' home.And yeah,that's excluding most of the really weird similarities and differences between us.

I'm starting to feel burned out with life though it's only a couple of weeks ago that we had our March holiday and now I can't stand living life the way I should.It's like everything will involve studying studying and more studying.I basically have got no life and to add insult to injury,my mom forces me to study.What is the world turing to?I'm becoming a slave to books,for once in my life.


I'm starting to see the light,you're better off this way.You just being you and that you don't need to bother about my well-being.I guess this time I really seal this box and end the deal once and for all.Nothing that happens is going to change my mind.No turning back now,it's about time anyway that I should get myself from out of this mess before it's too late.I wish you well and hope you'll have an easier time without me and just be happy always.I will always be here if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to.I'm not going to forget you and thanks for the memories.There's always something else,I'm hoping that these words will stay true to its meaning because I always want something I can't have...



She is a diamond
I am a stone
I come from nowhere
She's been to Rome
Her daddy's a lawyer
And mines not around
She has good manners
I'm rough all around

But you could come from something
You could come from nothing
You could be a princess
You could be a working man
But in the end

We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
Maybe a roll in the dirt
Or it's a seat in first class
We all want something we can't have

She wants to go to restaurants in Beverly Hills and people stare
But I don't care it's just what she grew up around
She drags me to parties where people ask me where I went to college
She knows damn well I barely finished school
She knows a lot about yearly salaries and trust funds and dividends
She knows that I don't really care at all
But we got together
And it's working ok

You could come from something
You could come from nothing
You could be a princess
You could be a working man
But in the end

We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
Maybe a roll in the dirt
Or it's a seat in first class
We all want something we can't have

Well you can spend your whole life looking for something
Something that might be right in front of your eyes
But you'll be looking for something else you'll never find

We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something we can't have
We all want something else (We all want something else)
We all want something strange to us
Maybe a roll in the dirt
Or it's a seat in first class
We all want something we can't have...


Something Else by Good Charlotte.

Change Your Mind...

I was feeling so ecstatic since there's plenty of good thigns that happened today.Manchester United making a comeback after 0-1 down at half-time,final score 4-1.That was some entertainment.I had a really good talk with Kathleen and well,realised it's only 2 weeks since we first knew of each other's existence.Kind of weird that we had so much to talk about everytime.And yeah,there's a little strange happenings that happens to both of us either simultaneously or one after another 'chain-reaction' like thing.It's pretty hard to explain but well,let's keep somethings between us eh?

During Catechism class today,we re-enacted The Last Supper and 'Jesus' had to wash the disciples feet.Jesus being the Catechists and we the disciples wash each other's feet too,though I didn't really wash the feet since I didn't make a contact to the feet of my friends.We ate unleavened bread and drank real wine,which was certainly a rarity.I jokingly even say that my feet is holy now and I will be able to kick the ball like Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo combined.I hope it will show it's magic when the inter-house soccer tournament starts so I can clinch some sort of prize on stage for my 4 years of life.And yes,once again I'm second best in the team but this time,I'm at my own element through my own effort.I'm going to prove some people wrong,especially those who has ever doubted my ability to play football.

But once I came online,I became really moody again.I just unconsciously switched to negative mode all of a sudden and so many sensitive words came into my mind.It's like as though the internet os the root of all misery but yet,I liked the feeling of being all sad.To hate and to be hated.To love and to be loved.It's really something I can't put to words.It's like as though this blog is always the place where I keep ranting and raving at everything thats going against me.And it's not going to stop anytime soon,this habit of turning a small matter into such a big one that I don't even know how to contain myself.

And now that I'm getting all the salvations,all my negative feelings catch up with me and now I'm experiencing it all over again.Emotional rollercoaster ride from day one but I can't stop it,it's still a part of life and I got to face it.But it's hard not to feel all this negativity around me,all the pains,the misery,the wounds and all the other dark and empty feelings.


I really don't know what to do now.I guess I'm just pretending to have moved on just so you could be happy.And eventually,thorugh time I will really get over you but I simply can't.There's something blocking me to and I can't force it out.If you're referring to me,I would have to say that I'm the one that's nothing to you,not you.I guess you do deserve someone better and I know it's not a hard task finding a better person than me.It was just wishful thinking playing my part and I got burned by the flame.Again.But now I'm still at the crossroad.I'm back where I first began,I'm flipping back to the blank page I left of our book.Could this story get any more twist and turns?

I just hate this part of me.The one that refuses to just give in to the truth until it comes right at my face and though I try so hard to,I can't leave the picture of you in my mind.I know you rather see me go than keep pestering you and this post might seem like a manouvre out of desperation but I'm telling you the truth,that I can't simply forget you,forget us.If only there's another try,I wish I could have done things differently.And maybe it would have turned out different.When you asked if I had moved on,you know better than anyone that I was speaking out of honesty and if you ever think that you're hindering me from moving on,you're wrong.It's not you,it's me.I'm living on just to see the day that you change your mind,but I guess that day will never comes,but if it indeed comes,I don't want it to be forced from you...


Racey days
Help me through the hopeless haze
But my oh my
Tragic eyes
I can't even recognize myself behind
So if the answer is no
Can I change your mind

Out again, a siren screams at half past ten
And you won't let go
While I ignore, that we both felt like this
Before it starts to show
So if I have a chance
Would you let me know

Why aren't you shaking
Step back in time
Graciously taken
Oh you're too kind

And if the answer is no
Can I change your mind

We're all the same
And love is blind
The sun is gone
Before it shines

And I say if the answer is no
Can I change your mind
If the answer is no
Can I change your mind...


Change Your Mind by The Killers.